Weak power

Not only for warriors, but this also goes for humans and various species as well.

Every living thing acquires a weapon — either intelligence, strength, art, imagination, wealth.
Whatever power is assumed, it must be feared. Not to let it take over you, To control and consume you.

Power will make you weak if it consumes you.

Once power takes over somebody, he/she underestimate its influence. The potential gains on them and takes control, even though they resist and fight to regain control.

He/she gains more power consistently without noticing the fact he/she is losing control. No gains made. It could be losing it through failure in its environment, whether through external influence, from relationships, or through some physical interaction, perhaps in education. They lose power through other mental realities. Therefore they lose themselves.

Because his/her power consumes, their wears away, due to being overwhelmed. Their ability is no longer relevant with change and loss of control. Therefore, they fail and collapse.

Permanently, achieving nothing, but falling with emptiness and dissatisfaction, due to a loss of control and soul.

Sorry Part #8

Jackie and James took the room, Patrick had been dying to ask Annie about what had happened between her and David, especially with the text messages. “You sent me a text that shouldn’t have went to me,” said Patrick. “You didn’t mean any of that”? Annie responded, “No. Not at all, it was meant for David”. “It came to me, and I took it literally, and that’s why I thought you didn’t love me anymore.” Annie replied, “That’s my fault, I didn’t think at the moment, and my emotions were flaring with frustration with David. Your last name and his starts with the letter F. I shouldn’t have sent it, then none of this would have happened”.

    Patrick hugged Annie, Annie kissed Patrick on the cheek. “What’s happening to David,” asked Patrick. Annie was unsure and told Patrick, “I don’t know. Hopefully, they keep him away from me.” Patrick answered, “Maybe we should seek a restraining order”? Annie and Patrick both knew that if David was to be released, things might get worse, perhaps stalking could occur. Annie told Patrick, “I’m afraid he’s going to stock me. I’m worried about my life”. Patrick, “we must apply for the restraining order.” Annie said, “I need to talk to Joan about this, and maybe she can help me.” Patrick said, “if you need help, please let me know.” Annie hugged Patrick and said, “I love you, Patrick.” Patrick replied, “I love you too.”

    Annie pulled back and said, “I’m anxious about Jackie. Knowing her parents, they do not understand at all. She’s going to be in big trouble”. Patrick responded, “I think she just needs to be honest about what happened, and she needs to buy birth control pills.” Patrick continued, “I’m assured that she would make a fantastic mother, but she’s a junior in college, she can’t have children yet. She’s not financially viable, nor is she set up right now”. Annie replied, “I know, but I wonder how James feels.” James and Jackie were close friends, but they weren’t the two to hang out all the time; it was a once or twice a week catch up, however this time, it was taken more seriously.

    Annie and Patrick were in the living room, looking at the white bedroom door. Annie asked Patrick, “should we go in and talk to them”? Patrick responded, “We could try.” Both of the quietly opened the door slowly and quietly. As they looked in the bedroom, Jackie and James facing each other, both were crying. James was rubbing his fingers, wiping the tears from her face. He was whispering, “it’s going to be fine.” She responded, almost gasping for air, “are you sure.” James replied, “I’m sure. I’ll be with you every step of the way”. James embraced her, and they laid together, resting, and processing.

    Annie told Patrick, “let’s let them have their time.” Patrick responded, “We should probably let them have a few days, then we can talk to them fully. Don’t you think?” Annie returned, “yes.” As Patrick and Annie walked into the kitchen, Jackie’s phone was ringing, it was her father. Annie picked it up and looked at Patrick, “should we take it to her.” Patrick said, “No. Don’t, not right now. Let her be”. Annie, “once her father finds out, she’s going to be dead.” “I know,” responded Patrick. Jackie’s father then sent a text, “please call me.”

Sorry- Part #7

           While Patrick was at the police station, trying to understand what was going on with Annie and David, Jackie was having a meltdown. Patrick had just heard in the background over the phone, “I’m pregnant!”. Jackie and James had slept together the previous night at the party, she got a result she was not expecting. Patrick called Jackie from the police station, asking her, “what are you going to do now? You’re a college student and your parents, a conservative Catholic. They will not allow birth control nor abortion”! Jackie responded, “look, you focus on getting things worked out with Annie, I need to call my doctor.” Patrick replied, “she’s getting interviewed right now, though I haven’t talked to her in nearly three hours.” Jackie responded, “I need to go.” Patrick and Jackie hung up at the same time.

           As Patrick walked out of the lounge of the police station, Annie walked out of the sergeant’s office. Annie yelled, “Patrick! We can go home”. “Are you okay?” Patrick hugged her, and he told her, “we need to get back to Taylor Hall, Jackie just found out she’s pregnant.” Annie responded, “What! Who got her pregnant”. Patrick replied, “Who do you think? Who was with her last night”? Annie’s response was one word, “wow.” Patrick and Annie rushed back to Taylor Hall, and when they got to the dorm hall, Jackie was still unclothed, lying on the living room floor, crying. All of a sudden, the whole attention and mood shifted from Annie and Patrick to Jackie. As Patrick and Annie walked in, Patrick asked Jackie, “are you okay? Where’s James”?

           Jackie was in a state of shock, to her, her world was falling apart. “James is in the bathroom,” replied Jackie. “Doing what,” Patrick replied. “Hoping the pregnancy test is wrong.” James was sitting on the bathtub wall with his head on his arms. Patrick asked James, “did you not use a condom”? James responded, “Patrick, I was higher than Mel Gibson on Passover, no I didn’t. Buddy, I know you care, but now’s not the time to talk about this. I need to process my emotions”. “Fair enough,” responded Patrick. Patrick walked out of the bathroom, Annie was sitting at the table on her phone, looking for potential resources for Jackie. “Jackie, I’m new to this, and I’ve never had intercourse before; I don’t’ know how to help you.” Jackie responded, “All you need to do is be you, do you, and be a good friend. Nothing else”. “Do you think you’ll start birth control,” asked Annie. “I don’t know I need to see my doctor first, which is going to be a problem because my parents will find out, it’ll be the end and beginning of my life.”

           Annie asked Jackie, “when will you go to the doctor”? Jackie got off the floor, and walked towards Annie, put her hand on her shoulder, “I don’t know.” She walked away and back into the bedroom, falling on the bed. James came out of the bathroom, took a drink of water, and followed Jackie into the bedroom. Annie looked at Patrick, “What should we do”? Patrick responded, “Let them be, let them talk through it, and give them space.”  

Sorry Part #6

“Annie, what exactly happened between you and David”? Annie was taken to the police station to discuss the party that had happened the night before. “David and I had been in a relationship for a year and a half. We were close in the beginning, and we did love each other, but both of our family lives got the best of us, but Davids’s family life changed him”. David’s mother was addicted to drugs and got David to start taking drugs. “Did you ever try drugs or sell them,” asked the sergeant. “No, never. I know I can’t do drugs because of my anti-anxiety medications, nor drink alcoholic beverages,” replied Annie. “Why do you take anxiety medications in the first place if you don’t mind me asking”? Annie replied, “I take them because of family issues, and recently in the last year, the dosage was raised up half because of David.”
“What about David gave you anxiety,” asked the sergeant? “He would take drugs around me and would not be himself. There were several times that he tried raping me and touching me without consent. That bothered me,” replied Annie. Patrick was shocked, as he was sitting outside of the integration room, listening to Annie. He was crying, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Did you ever think about leaving the relationship, Annie”? Annie answered the sergeant, “no, because if I did, I was afraid he would hurt me or do something to me.” At this point, Annie felt good about herself and what was happening. To her it was like closure. She didn’t have to worry about David, she was expressing her feelings, and she wasn’t holding back.
Patrick was worried for her, but soon a revelation would occur that would shock him. “You had mentioned that you and Patrick texted each other around the time you broke up with David.” Yes, replied Annie. “However, you sent a text to Patrick saying that he micromanaged the relationship, was controlling, and a few other things. Given what you’re telling me, did you send that to the wrong person. Or was going on there” ask the sergeant. “I sent that to Patrick? What?” replied Annie. The seargant replied, “according to our notes yes”. Patrick stared at the ceiling in disbelief, he now understood that she did love him. However, more was coming out. “I meant to send that to David,” replied Annie.
“We noticed their numbers are close in your phonebook on the iPhone you let us look at. Maybe that’s why and you were nervous?” “That could be,” said Annie. Patrick was eager to talk to Annie, but he thought he should call Jackie and James, both back the Taylor Hall. Patrick called Jackie, “Jackie.” Jackie answered, “Hey, Patrick, what’s up.” Patrick responded, “are you and James still in bed together”? James yelled in the background, “yes.” Patrick replied, “it’s one in the afternoon.” Jackie responded, “it was a fun night last night, at least for us, how are you guys?” Patrick replied, “do you remember anything that happened last night.” “Honestly, no,” Jackie responded, chuckling. “Oh, geez,” answered Patrick. “Listen, I now know why Annie was frustrated and upset, it wasn’t because of me. It was because of David, and she sent the wrong text to me”. James yelled in the background, “good for you buddy.” Jackie also replied, “that’s great, but are you guys staying together”? Patrick replied, “I don’t know what she’s thinking, but I would like to.”
Jackie told Patrick, “I’ll be back in a second, don’t hang up.” James was in the background talking to Jackie, “Don’t worry, Patrick, Jackie’s in the bathroom.” Patrick was thinking the unthinkable, but his intuition was right. All of a sudden a scream was heard. James yelled, “what? What’s wrong!” Jackie responded, “I’m pregnant.” James yelled, “oh, that’s not good.” Patrick replied, “I’ll let you guys go. I’ll be back at Taylor in about an hour”. As he took the phone off his ear, he could hear Jackie screaming in the background. Jackie and James were going to be parents? Or?

Sorry Part #5 – The Party

     Patrick waved down a cab near the San Diego Pier. “To UC-Los Angeles, please.” “Sir, you do realize that’s a forty-minute drive,” replied the cab driver. “Yes, I realize that we need to get going,” answered Patrick. Patrick and Annie had a difficult time finding a cab driver that would take them all the way to Los Angeles. While Annie and Patrick were on their way back to Los Angeles, James and Jackie were worried that they had gotten lost. The party was going to be starting in thirty minutes, Annie was going to be late.

    James asked Jackie, “Where are Annie and Patrick,” Jackie responded, “I cannot get a hold of them. I don’t know”, as she scratched her head. Both of them were trying to call Annie and Patrick; however, both their phones were dead. The cab driver asked Patrick, “where are you guys heading to in Los Angeles?” Patrick responded University of California-Los Angeles, Taylor House. “Really, my younger brother goes to UC-Los Angeles.” “Really,” answered Patrick. “What’s his name,” asked Patrick. The cab driver said, “David FitzGerald. Do you know him”? “Ah, no. We don’t,”, responding nervously. Annie looked at Patrick and mouth to Patrick, “that’s my ex-boyfriend’s older brother.” “What is your guy’s name, and what is your major”?

    Annie said, “my name is AN.” Responding, the cab driver said, “AN. Really?” “Yes, it is,”” answered Annie. Both Patrick and Annie were nervous, realizing that the cab driver was Annie’s ex-boyfriend’s older brother. “My name is Pat,” responded Patrick. Both of them implied their names to keep their names anonymous. Realizing this situation had become awkward, the cab driver was pulling into the city. About twenty minutes later, they arrived on campus. Getting out of car quickly, both walked fast to their dorm, Taylor Hall. Patrick said, “that was awkward”. “Yeah, he never told he had a brother.”

    Patrick, “well, we can forget this and just move on.” Annie and Patrick walked up to their dorm, nearly ten minutes early to the party. They walked in the front door of the dorm and there was over thirty people. But, Annie soon realized this was not a traditional party, this was a college party. People were smoking funny things, and doing wicked actions. Annie ran over to Jackie, “what’s going on here”? “I thought this was a birthday party, not an orgy drug fest”? Jackie responded, “come on, you’re twenty-one years old; you can drink now, smoke, and do a lot of things.”

    Annie, “no, I’m not going to smoke funny things, get drunk, and potentially get raped by being drunk and smoking”. Patrick, standing behind her in shock, looked around the dorm hall. He saw David sitting in the chair, staring at him. Patrick whispered in Annie’s ear, “do not turn around, but Patrick is sitting in a chair in this living room, I’m looking at him right now. Do not turn around and avoid eye contact”. However, this didn’t work, David got out of his chair and walked over to Annie and Patrick. “Annie said David.” “Hi David, what are you doing here”? Annie, looked stunned and so did Patrick. Patrick hesitantly said, “Hey, David.”

    David responded, “Annie, can we talk. Let’s go for a walk,”? Annie replied, “no, thank you, I would prefer not to.” David said stunningly, “I was not asking for your permission”. David grabbed Annie by the arm and behind pulling her and grabbing her, taking her towards the door. Patrick chased him down, though on the other side of the room. Patrick grabbed David by the color and whispered in his ear, “whatever you’re here to do, you better be careful. I have two knifes in my pocked. I have my eye on you”. David turned around, “alright everyone, put your hands up, right now”, he yelled. David had a shot=gun in his hand, pointed at Annie’s head. “You will cooperate, and you will listen to my words, do you understand. Get on the floor right now”. Jackie was in the bedroom with James, “having a good time,” but ones James heard a gunshot, he opened the bedroom door slightly. Nobody was dead, but it was a warning sign to everyone.

    James told Jackie, “call campus security. Now.” James knew he had made a mistake, this was a party that got out of control, he knew they all would be in trouble. “This is campus security,” over the phone, the guard asked. Jackie responded, “we have an active shooter in Taylor Hall, room 456”. “I’m on my way, right now.” David had Annie by the hair and whispered in her ear, “you will come with me do you understand”. “Come now,”! Patrick grabbed David by the color and kneed him the back, Annie punched him in the face and kicked him in the testicles. Lying on the ground in pain, Patrick kicked David in the head, took his gun, and threw it out the window. Patrick gave him one more blow to the testicles, and Annie tied tap around his arms and mouth and sat him on the couch.

    Ironically, everyone continued to party, even though the shooter was still in the room. Patrick tackled Annie to the ground, started embracing her, and hugging her. Security showed up about five minutes later, James opened the door. “Twelve police officers were outside the door, guns drawn.” “It’s okay, he’s been apprehended.” The campus security officer yelled, “alright everyone picks up your stuff and get out, this is a crime scene.” Everyone ran out the door, while the police apprehended the suspect. David was taken to the police station. Annie and Patrick were lying on the air mattress in the other room, they fell asleep, crying together. One campus security officer opened the door and tapped Annie on the shoulder, “are you okay madam”? Annie responded, “can I just be left alone. I’m scared”. “Come to the police station tomorrow at noon. We need to go over this conflict tonight”.

Annie responded, “yes”. “Thank you,” replied the campus security officer.

Sorry Part #4 –

After leaving the Gen Jen buffet, Annie, Patrick, James, and Jackie took a taxi back to campus. All of them stayed together in James’ dorm. The next morning, Patrick woke up with Annie lying right next to him, he felt that it maybe she was still interested in him. Patrick whispered in Annie’s ear, “happy birthday,” and kissed her on the cheek. Annie was turning twenty-one years old, and she and her friends were having a birthday party at their dorm hall. While lying on the air mattress, Patrick took the covers off of him, got up to stretch and saw that the sun was bright, the sky was blue, and said, “this is going to be a good day.” Annie rolled over and fell back asleep. James and Jackie were already up in the kitchen, of their dorm, making breakfast.

               About an hour later, Jackie, Patrick, and James were sitting in the living room of the dorm hall, when Annie walked out and said, “good morning.” She was dressed in a red dress, with black flowers on them. Her hair was curled, but flat. She had black hair, thick and robust, it smelt fresh and clean. Patrick asked Annie as she walked out, “do you have Irish ancestry”? Jackie and James laughed, but Annie asked, “Why do you ask”? Patrick, “most Irish people I’ve met, have thick black hair. Annie responded, “Yes, my last name is Finn. I believe its an Irish name”. Annie went further to ask Patrick, “do you like my dress”? Patrick stood up in his blazer and answered, “you look lovely today.” Annie asked Patrick, “would you like to go for a walk”? Patrick said, “yes.”

               As Patrick and Annie left, James and Jackie said, “don’t be gone long, we have a party in three hours.” They responded, “yeah, yeah, yeah.” Annie was excited, “can we get a cab””? Patrick replied, “remember, we have your party. Where were you thinking of going to?” Annie answered, “San Diego.” Patrick responded, “that’s a forty-minute drive without traffic”? Annie, “so? I want to spend time with you”. Patrick and Annie were walking and spotted a taxi driving near them, he waved it down. “To San Diego, please.” The cabby responded, “you’re aware that this is an eight-five-dollar drive.” “it’s my friends’ birthday. I don’t care,” he answered, with a smile on his face.

               As they were driving, Annie grabbed Patrick’s hand and told Patrick, “I need to tell you a few things, Patrick.” “The text I sent you the other day, seeking a breakup with you, I was in a funk. I didn’t mean that. My mom has breast cancer, she’s constantly crying every day, and has two months to live. My ex-boyfriend has also been stocking me online and also been trying to get ahold of me through text messaging, and I want to be with you”. Patrick was listening but worried they would miss the party. But, when she said, “I want to be with you,” his head turned. He said, “I want to be with you too.” Patrick responded, “I wasn’t sure why you were mad at me or hurt. I didn’t think I did anything wrong, but I wanted to give you space”. Annie asked, “Why were you on the beach then”? He replied, “I need to release my stress and emotions. James was willing to do that with me”.

               Annie continued and said, “I’m sorry for misleading you and releasing what I did. I hope you can forgive me.” Patrick turned his head and kissed her on the cheeks. By this time, they were in San Diego, only to find that Patrick didn’t have enough money on his card to pay the full $85.00. He could pay $60.00 of it, given he had $10.00 in cash and a $50.00 prepaid card limit. So, Patrick called James, “James: Annie and I went to San Diego, can you pay $25.00 for our cab fee”. James responded, “Yeah, ah, why are you in San Diego?” “Annie wanted to go down there, so I followed,” said Patrick. “Do you have any money”? “No,” responded Patrick. “I’ll put $100.00 on pay wallet, and you can pay me back”. “Fair enough.” Patrick paid and tipped the man. Annie said, “I want to go to the beach.” Patrick and Annie walked to the beach near the San Diego bay. They arrived on the San Diego Jetty, and sat on the edge of it, with their legs dangling. “Are you excited about your party, Annie”? Annie responded to Patrick, “yeah and no.” “Why no,” asked Patrick. “No, because I have a feeling my ex-boyfriend will be showing up, perhaps drunk, high, who knows what.”

               Patrick responded, “How long ago was this”? “It was two years or so,” replied Annie. Patrick turned back, looking out at sea, “Annie, I’ve found that your spouse and children should be nurtured, not tortured. That’s why sometimes, you don’t get your first partner right or find the right person right away,” Patrick stated. “There is a quality about you that I admire, Patrick.” “What is that,” responded Patrick? “It’s the fact that you see the bigger picture in life. You are philosophical and understand the value of nature vs. nurture. You can make light out of something that can’t be lit. I love that. I love you”. Patrick, “really, nobody’s ever told me that.” “Well, now you know,” responded Annie, with a smile on your face. Patrick said, “We should probably head back to campus now, we have your party.” Annie responded, “do we have to, ugh.” Patrick said, “you should, everyone you know will be there.” Annie, “fine.”

Sorry Part #3

As James ran down the jetty to the beach to help Annie and Patrick, he was conflicted about how she found the two of them and why she came back. James brought a rope he found on the beach and ran into the shallow water. “Can you guys reach this,” said James. Patrick and Annie were too busy embracing Patrick to want to be saved. Patrick yelled to Annie as they were floating in the tides, “what are you doing here. How did you find us”? Annie responded, “I followed you on the beach. I’m here with my friend, Jackie”. James was stilled worried they could drown, so he called the beach lifeguards. As the lifeguards rolled up in their cars, life jackets thrown to them.

     James, “are you guys okay”? Patrick said, “we are fine. The waters really cold”, yelling back. Two lifeguards went out to get them and were brought back to shore. Annie and Patrick fell on the beach and laid on their backs, looking at the orange and yellow sky. Annie plopped on Patrick and kissed him on the lips. Patrick was exhausted, and Annie was excited. Annie rested her head on his chest, and they laid on the beach for nearly a half an hour, comforting each other.

     Darkness was settling on the beach, guard patrols escorted Jackie, Annie, Patrick, and James off the beach back to the Los Angeles Jetty, where the nightlife was beginning to take off. As they left the jetty, Jackie asked James, “did Annie tackle him off the jetty”? James, “yes, at full speed,” he chuckled. “She loves him, she’s just struggling right now,” said Jackie. James replied, “is it because of aunt Joan”? “Yes,” replied Jackie. “Aunt Joan has been struggling with cancer. Also, Annie’s ex-boyfriend has been harassing her”. James, “why hasn’t she told anyone. Patrick has been worried sick that he did something horrible to her when he hasn’t”.

     Annie and Patrick were walking towards the restaurant, “Gen Zen,” a Chinese buffet. Patrick and Annie both loved Chinese beef, pork, and poultry. Patrick asks Annie, “Are you up for some Chinese food”? Annie responded, “you, bet.” Patrick and Annie were about fifty yards ahead of them, walking and holding hands. James yelled, “did you guys mention Chinese food”? Patrick yelled back, “yeah, we did.” James said, “let’s go.” As they continued walking towards Gen Zen, Jackie asked James, “what was Patrick worried about.” James responded, “it wasn’t what he was worried about; it’s about what she told him.” Jackie asked, “what did she say”? “He was controlling, micromanaging, and other things.” “Really, when,”?

     As they approached the Chinese buffet, Annie told Jackie and James, “can you go in and get us a booth, I need to talk to Patrick in private.” James replied, “sure,” looking confused. James and Jackie were confused the most by this situation, but the most confused was Patrick, who thought Annie didn’t like it. Annie said to Patrick, “I’m having a birthday party tomorrow at my dorm hall for my 21st birthday, I want you to be there. I want you to stay the night as well, you can sleep with me, and my roommate won’t mind”. Patrick responded, “won’t I get expelled. Or couldn’t I”. Annie answered, “just don’t tell anyone.” Annie further said, “I want to talk to you about some to the things I said, and I would feel comfortable doing so lying next to you.”

     Patrick responded, “okay.” Patrick was still confused, wondering what triggered her to come back. He was not aware of what Jackie and James had discussed on the jetty. Jackie and James were sitting in the booth inside. James told Jackie, “here’s the thing about Patrick, he’s a loyal, kind, and soft-hearted man. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. It just seems odd that she would go off on him. He’s the type of person, who might come off as weak, but he really isn’t. He’s a values-based person, less so rational. That’s not a bad thing.” Jackie responded, “that’s not bad at all; at least he knows his values”!. As they continued to sit in the booth, Annie and Patrick continued talking outside. Annie asked Patrick, “Can you make it to my party tomorrow night”? Patrick responded, “absolutely, yeah.” Annie proceeded and kissed him on the lips. As she pulled his lips with hers, the kissing went further, and Patrick realized that perhaps Annie did still love him. A few seconds later, Patrick stopped kissing and said, “We should probably go eat now.” Annie said, “oh, yeah, sorry” awkwardly. “Let’s go.”